a morning routine: two versions

Posted on November 11th, 2013 by mountain girl  |  11 Comments »

I thought some of you might be interested in my early morning routine. For the sake of being truthful, there are two versions: the ideal morning I always hope for, and, well…those other mornings. There are no pictures, which I think you will be grateful for by the end.

The Idyllic, Perfect-Morning Version:

Around 5:00 am, the baby wakes up to nurse. When he finishes and seems to be asleep, I half-roll, half-slither out of bed and land in a heap on the floor. I hop up and soundlessly sprint to the bathroom.

Oil Pulling

Once safely behind the curtain that acts as our bathroom door, I pop a tablespoon of coconut or olive oil into my mouth and start swishing it around. I swish for 20 minutes. It sounds strange, but it pulls toxins from your body and promotes healthy gums and clean, white teeth. I think it also helped speed up my recovery from being sick recently.

Washing up

While I’m swishing, I splash some water on my face and scoop a fingertip of honey from the honey bear sitting on my counter. I spread it over my face and begin to rub it in. The honey is raw, so it has crystallized into a nice gritty, sticky substance–perfect for exfoliating. Once it’s all rubbed in, I let it sit for a few minutes so the enzymes can work their magic.

I rinse it off, and it leaves my face feeling like silk. I work a little homemade moisturizer into my face, then spritz it.  (My spritzer is about 1/2 cup distilled water, a drop or two of vegetable glycerin, and 7 drops of lavender essential oil.)


I highlight my eyes with Mineral Fusion Warm Concealer Duo and this Naturally Radiant palette that I love. I sweep on a couple of coats of this nice cheap mascara from Walmart. I brush cocoa powder bronzer all over my face, and spritz it again.


I run my fingers through my hair to try to smooth out the tangly mess. (If it seems hopeless, I use the spritzer on it and pretend it helps.)  I braid it, pull it into a barrette, or clip it up if all else fails.


By now my 20 minutes of swishing are about up. I spit out the oil and rinse my mouth with hot water, then brush and floss my teeth. I fill a quart jar with hot water, squeeze a whole lime into it, and start sipping.

Finishing up

I pull on my jeans and a shirt, put on a hoodie, and swipe on some homemade deodorant. I take my water with lime out into the loft, do a few stretches, and sit down cozily to read my Bible until the baby wakes up.  At 7:00 I drive Caleb to the local library to meet his bus.

The Real Life Version (as in What Really Happened Today).

After nursing twice, Cash smiled and closed his eyes with a happy little gurgle.  I slither-rolled onto the floor, and he immediately opened his eyes and started crying. I climbed back into bed, changed his diaper, and lifted him up to try to nurse him to sleep again.

Whoosh! Out came a stream of projectile vomit, all over both of us and the bed. When I got over my shock, I pulled off his clothes and took him into the bathroom to fill up a bath.

I popped some oil into my mouth and started swishing, rubbed some honey on my face, and got us both into the bath.  I was just pouring baking soda-water on my hair when I heard a plopping sound. I looked up to see a startled expression on Cash’s face.  There, floating around me, were three large pieces of poop.  Yep, poop.

Since my mouth was full of oil, I could only emit a close-mouthed, muffled shriek. I jumped out, cleaned the baby’s bottom, and started fishing out the poop, which quickly turned into lots of small pieces. Once I had it all fished out, we sat there shivering and watching the tub slowly drain.  It was so cold I decided to turn on the space heater, which I rarely do. I washed the tub and refilled it, and we got back in.

When my 20 minutes of swishing were over, I got out to spit out the oil and wash the honey off my face. I forgot the heater was on and burned my leg on it. Yippee.

I rinsed my hair and pulled it back, soaking and tangled, into a clip. I got Cash out and dressed us, then went downstairs to start my day, makeup-less and slightly traumatized.

The great thing is, I had one less diaper to rinse in the toilet today. Woo-hoo.

And you? Do you have a nice relaxing morning routine? I would love to hear about it! And more importantly, have you found a way to sedate your children to sleep soundly throughout the early morning hours? If so, I will pay you well to tell me about it.

11 Responses to “a morning routine: two versions”

  1. Mom & Dad says on :

    Hi honeeeee……..u made me laugh SO hard….I love you so much! ! ! /mom

  2. Tiffany says on :

    That is why I wake up much earlier than the kids. I started doing that a few months ago so that I could have time to myself, to center myself before the day begins. It makes me a much more patient mom too and better able to deal with everything that kids brng into the day. 🙂

  3. Appleshoe says on :

    I must admit a little jealousy crept in when you talked about being able to slither out of bed without waking Cash up, then almost squirted blueberry flavored water out my nose when I read the real life version. Oh how it echoes my own. I find that waking up at 3:am is the only time I can slither out of bed without waking Panda up. I get myself ready, then creep back to bed and cuddle Panda till he wakes up. How old is Cash, may I ask? Be well.

  4. Mimi says on :

    Don’t think I can top that one,Doll. Love,Mimi

  5. mountain girl says on :

    Blueberry water? That sounds good–but not through the nose, lol! Hmm…I am thinking maybe I need to start getting up at 3 am. And Cash is 15 months.

  6. Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom says on :

    Wow, I was living it up in the mountain spa with you until reality hit. Poop in the tub? With you? I would forever feel unclean. You poor thing.

    I haven’t heard of some of your beauty processes before but I’m totally going to try some of them. I’ll start with the coconut oil today.

    Wishing you much better day.

  7. Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom says on :

    Okay, I’ve done the swishing thing twice (yesterday and today). Thanks for providing the link to the additional information too – fascinating!

    Anyway, at first I thought, there is NO way I can swish for 20 minutes. Yesterday I did almost 10 minutes but today I did the full 20. I am stunned that in just two days How much whiter my teeth are! How is that even possible?!

    I want to make your moisturizer but I’m looking for an African Shea butter supplier that will ship to Canada (Amazon won’t). I can’t wait to try your other beauty tips/tricks as I’ve been blown away by the coconut oil tip!

    Thanks again.

  8. mountain girl says on :

    Glad you’re doing the swishing! Yes, it’s amazing how it whitens teeth–so much better than whitening toothpastes. It looks like Mountain Rose Herbs will ship to Canada…I have not ordered from them yet, but I know several people who do, and they have exceptional products. I’m sure their Shea butter will be better than the disappointing quality of Shea butter I got last time on Amazon.

  9. Chrisy@GoodNorthCoastLife says on :

    I’m sitting here in Australia with a huge smile on my face. 🙂 Great post Mia. Love it.

    AND – after Jennifer’s review….l’m going to start swishing tomorrow morning. Off to read that link now….swishing oil….who would have thought!!

  10. Jennifer |The Deliberate Mom says on :

    Thanks for the tip on Mountain Rose Herbs. I’m off to check them out.

  11. Poco Mountain Girl » Blog Archive » slowing down says on :

    […] vinegar with honey and cayenne, a couple of herbal tinctures, and Oscillococcinum.  Along with swishing oil every morning and eating mostly raw and fermented […]