Poco Mountain Girl

I thought some of you might be interested in my early morning routine. For the sake of being truthful, there are two versions: the ideal morning I always hope for, and, well…those other mornings. There are no pictures, which I think you will be grateful for by the end.

The Idyllic, Perfect-Morning Version:

Around 5:00 am, the baby wakes up to nurse. When he finishes and seems to be asleep, I half-roll, half-slither out of bed and land in a heap on the floor. I hop up and soundlessly sprint to the bathroom.

Oil Pulling

Once safely behind the curtain that acts as our bathroom door, I pop a tablespoon of coconut or olive oil into my mouth and start swishing it around. I swish for 20 minutes. It sounds strange, but it pulls toxins from your body and promotes healthy gums and clean, white teeth. I think it also helped speed up my recovery from being sick recently.

Washing up

While I’m swishing, I splash some water on my face and scoop a fingertip of honey from the honey bear sitting on my counter. I spread it over my face and begin to rub it in. The honey is raw, so it has crystallized into a nice gritty, sticky substance–perfect for exfoliating. Once it’s all rubbed in, I let it sit for a few minutes so the enzymes can work their magic.

I rinse it off, and it leaves my face feeling like silk. I work a little homemade moisturizer into my face, then spritz it.  (My spritzer is about 1/2 cup distilled water, a drop or two of vegetable glycerin, and 7 drops of lavender essential oil.)

Makeup

I highlight my eyes with Mineral Fusion Warm Concealer Duo and this Naturally Radiant palette that I love. I sweep on a couple of coats of this nice cheap mascara from Walmart. I brush cocoa powder bronzer all over my face, and spritz it again.

Hair

I run my fingers through my hair to try to smooth out the tangly mess. (If it seems hopeless, I use the spritzer on it and pretend it helps.)  I braid it, pull it into a barrette, or clip it up if all else fails.

Teeth

By now my 20 minutes of swishing are about up. I spit out the oil and rinse my mouth with hot water, then brush and floss my teeth. I fill a quart jar with hot water, squeeze a whole lime into it, and start sipping.

Finishing up

I pull on my jeans and a shirt, put on a hoodie, and swipe on some homemade deodorant. I take my water with lime out into the loft, do a few stretches, and sit down cozily to read my Bible until the baby wakes up.  At 7:00 I drive Caleb to the local library to meet his bus.

The Real Life Version (as in What Really Happened Today).

After nursing twice, Cash smiled and closed his eyes with a happy little gurgle.  I slither-rolled onto the floor, and he immediately opened his eyes and started crying. I climbed back into bed, changed his diaper, and lifted him up to try to nurse him to sleep again.

Whoosh! Out came a stream of projectile vomit, all over both of us and the bed. When I got over my shock, I pulled off his clothes and took him into the bathroom to fill up a bath.

I popped some oil into my mouth and started swishing, rubbed some honey on my face, and got us both into the bath.  I was just pouring baking soda-water on my hair when I heard a plopping sound. I looked up to see a startled expression on Cash’s face.  There, floating around me, were three large pieces of poop.  Yep, poop.

Since my mouth was full of oil, I could only emit a close-mouthed, muffled shriek. I jumped out, cleaned the baby’s bottom, and started fishing out the poop, which quickly turned into lots of small pieces. Once I had it all fished out, we sat there shivering and watching the tub slowly drain.  It was so cold I decided to turn on the space heater, which I rarely do. I washed the tub and refilled it, and we got back in.

When my 20 minutes of swishing were over, I got out to spit out the oil and wash the honey off my face. I forgot the heater was on and burned my leg on it. Yippee.

I rinsed my hair and pulled it back, soaking and tangled, into a clip. I got Cash out and dressed us, then went downstairs to start my day, makeup-less and slightly traumatized.

The great thing is, I had one less diaper to rinse in the toilet today. Woo-hoo.

And you? Do you have a nice relaxing morning routine? I would love to hear about it! And more importantly, have you found a way to sedate your children to sleep soundly throughout the early morning hours? If so, I will pay you well to tell me about it.

This entry was posted on Monday, November 11th, 2013 at 2:17 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.