Poco Mountain Girl

It’s strange that four years can go by so fast, yet at the same time, everything before it seem like a lifetime ago. It was a different life, being single and alone, and I was a different person. I feel I’ve somehow filled out, rounded out, and softened a bit. Black and white aren’t as stark in my mind as they once were, there are more things than ever that I don’t have a clear answer for, and that’s more ok with me than ever. I guess overall that I’ve changed some priorities: it’s not so important to have the right answer as it is to understand the question, and it’s more important to wash someone’s dirty feet than it is to keep your own hands clean.

Being with David has made me feel stronger and more solid- I suppose because I know he will take my side and back me up no matter who or what is against me. I also laugh a lot more than I did before I knew him! His ridiculousity is so often just the thing I need to remember that life isn’t all that serious, after all.

Over these past four years there’s been a sort of pounding, one pound per year, of a great hammer. It’s like every anniversary the hammer has come down with a solid “chink”. And it pounds a great stake into the bedrock of my heart, a stake of trust: first in God, as I see him knitting us together, then in David, as I see his constancy, his faithfulness. I’m not afraid he’ll leave for work one day and not come home. I don’t worry that today he’ll love me less than yesterday. I know that our baby has an incredible dadda, and that our bills are paid, and whatever I make for dinner (short of sunflower seed yogurt) he will find delicious. And I know that when I wake up tomorrow, he’ll still find me beautiful (even with my redhead bedhead). I know his strengths, and I’m not afraid of his weaknesses. He’s proven himself worthy of the best I can give to him.

These four years have been the best in my life. I’ve discovered that I love someone more than I ever thought I could love anyone, and even more shockingly, that he loves me, sure and steady, even in the knowledge of all my idiosyncracies and oddities. No longer do I pluck flower petals to make sure! I have something more beautiful and true than any flowers: four years of a heart laid down for me.

This entry was posted on Monday, December 1st, 2008 at 11:54 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.