Poco Mountain Girl

Happy first day of fall (it begins at 10:29 tonight)!  Can you believe summer is just about over?  Or maybe I’m the only one who feels summer was way too short this year.

I’ve noticed that some of the changing aspens seem redder than usual, which I reeeeaaallly like–probably because it reminds me of the Northeast.  Plus, they are just waaaay prettier that way. 🙂

We still have lots of Colorado-style yellow ones, too.  No love lost there.  (Ok, I guess they’re nice too.)

We went to a park every day this weekend–including Friday, which is part of the weekend when you live in Gilpin County.  I guess we’re all a little sad to see summer go, and we’re trying to soak up the last warm days before winter sets in.  It will probably come with a bang–like a giant snowstorm right at the end of one of these nice, sunny days.

Caleb and Zia have settled into the swing (! oh the mind is a beautiful thing) of school.  Zia has even *mostly* stopped moaning about all the work she does there–she moped to the same tune in home school–and seems to finally be enjoying first grade.  Which is a good thing, ’cause it don’t get any easier from here on out, babe.

This boy is completely enveloped in the throes of two.  Don’t let that sweet smile fool you.  He’s got a giant NO in the front of his brain and at the tip of his tongue, always.

And don’t let this sweet smile fool you.  I’m still wading through a mud puddle, but it’s gone from the blahs to patiently plugging along (immersed in a raw feeling similar to wearing my skin inside out) until I see what’s next.  Don’t worry, I’m not going to leave the kids and David and go to Las Vegas in heels and a miniskirt to start a blingy new life under the neon.  I’m staying right here in this sweet home with these peeps I love so much, getting them off to school in the morning, reading and bathies and brushing teeth at night, and locking horns with my very contrary boy (or shall I say the littlest contrary boy) all day long.  Hint: above pic.

And in between, finding what it is I’m crying for inside–a better and deeper and stronger way to live my life.  I don’t want to get to the end and realize I wasted it away on my own little hobbies and elite ideas.  I want something to show for it.  Something that, in the end,  helped people in need–that brought love to the loveless, food to the hungry, life to the dying, a friend to the lonely.

Honestly, I could care less about the people outside my little circle, but that’s just the problem.  When I stand before God, He might just ask me if I learned to love.  I might say I learned to love Him, but is that even true if I don’t care that His kids are starving and homeless and orphans and hurting?

So I feel like my whole life is being uprooted and turned over and nakedly gazed at, and everything I thought worthwhile in my little tiny sphere of life is suddenly worth very, very little.

And so I wait–for an answer, for a direction, for something to turn the course of my life and my heart and my hands and my feet.

This entry was posted on Monday, September 22nd, 2014 at 10:03 am and is filed under Colorado. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.